Sad

Baby Andi is grieving in her way.. so sad to watch. She probably wants to go back to an orphanage for orphan life... changing caretakers, limited food, medical care probably rare, having to take care of herself.

She doesnt want to let go of anything in her hand. It doesnt matter if it is a french fry, toy, barbie, smushed (real word? wrong spelling?--u get the drift) cracker... she held onto the ritz cracker that she had when we got her for hours.

just last night she death gripped a french fry and the baby spoon even though she wanted to pick up the new french fry on the high chair.. soooo sad.... breaks this momma's heart... the french fry in her hand was all the way nibbled off so she couldnt eat anymore but she wouldnt let go to eat the new one.......

We are like her.... return to acting like orphans. trying to take care of ourselves, thinking we only need God in the big things--cancer, death.....but everyday life we have....

We would prefer to eat to eat table scraps and crumbs around the Lord's table instead of sitting at the table with the King.... We have been invited to sit with Him, to share in his riches, to be Jesus' brother, heirs with Jesus....everything He has we have...

BUT we so quickly return to being orphans... death grip on our control of life even though Life is in front of us....

But thank goodness He never tires of us having to be called back to sit with Him. To crawl up in his lap while He hand feeds us.... We dont even have to take the french fry off the dirty worn out high chair tray.....He picks us up, holds us, feeds us good things (not french fries)---living water and bread of life.....

So pray for us to return to Him quickly (because my heart is prone to wander, Lord I feel it) and not do this adoption trip alone---even the little details....

God is in the details... believe me He is....

Preaching the Gospel to my heart a fresh today.....because I have Gospel amnesia everyday I wake up and about every second of the day....

Great is His Faithfulness..... Great is His Faithfulness

His mercies are new every morning...

My sweet baby Andi just woke up.. going to snuggle in bed with 3 of her precious brothers....greatly missing dad and bub to be with us.......we are coming home soon...